The Camera House

Jokes February 2009

2009-02-03T15:17:00.000-08:00

ABOUT THE WRITER - Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald……………………...

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis. Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America’s enemies. I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, and then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon. The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet. After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.

The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.
At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked. Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this is, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate. 'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said.

And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like. I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.

Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that it was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.
ON THE SUBJECT OF COLONOSCOPIES… Colonoscopies really are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
'Can you hear me NOW?'
'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'
'You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married.'
'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'
'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is NOT up there?'

AND FINALLY…. A TRUE STORY ABOUT MY DAD!.... Whilst having his prostate checked a few years ago my Father (always looking for a cheap laugh!) suggested to his Doctor that perhaps he should stick another finger in and get a second opinion!!
My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice………………
For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.

Paddy was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the shadows.
“Twenty quid” she whispers.
He’d never been with a hooker before, but he decides what the heck, its only twenty quid. So they hide in the bushes. They're going 'at it' for a couple of minutes when all of a sudden a light flashes on them………., it's a police officer.
What’s going on here, people?' asks the officer.
‘I’m making love to my wife,' Paddy answers indignantly.
'Oh, I’m sorry,' says the cop, 'I didn’t know.'
‘Well,’ Paddy says, 'neither did I, until you shined that light in her face.

A golfer asked his friend, "Why are you so late?"
The friend replied, "It's Sunday. I had to toss a coin between going to church or playing golf and it took 25 tosses to get it right!"

Doctor Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice that said, "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And besides, you're single. Just let it go”………………….Invariably another voice would bring him back to reality whispering…………………..
But Dave…………………………….. you're a vet . . ."

More Buttons

2009-02-03T15:13:00.000-08:00

Some films were simply waiting to be made. They were just waiting for the right time, the right circumstances in which to be born. The idea of them keeps coming around but they’re too difficult, too problematic, too impossible, too fantastical to leap from faith into reality. And then events collide. Stars align or coincidence intervenes or someone says the right thing to somebody else and suddenly……….. After 86 unsudden years……….. The light is green” The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

I already spoke last edition about the film itself but I would like to make note of the great achievement of the DP Claudio Miranda. As I am sure you are all aware the movie (like “Zodiac”) was shot and recorded digitally using a combination of Thomson Viper and Sony F23 (the Sony was used for all the hospital scenes with Cate Blanchett and Julia Ormond while the Viper was used for almost every other part of the film - please note that 35mm Film was used for some of the MOS traveling footage but everything else was pure digital)

Claudio Miranda proves once and for all that shooting uncompressed digital images (even on a 2/3” camera) can produce the kind of gorgeous, rich, warm and heartfelt pictures worthy of Oscar and ASC type recognition. (Claudio has indeed been nominated for Outstanding Achievement in a Feature Film by the ASC and by BAFTA and now by The Academy!) Claudio has rendered the issues of film vs. digital vs. sensor type mute. He has truly embraced the digital way and in my opinion there is no DP out there right now that knows or can do more than Claudio; his digital plate runneth over!

Of course one has to recognize that the Production Design, Costume Design, Set Decoration and Make-up Design all have an profound influence on the visual results and life of the movie and enormous kudos must go to Donald Graham Burt (“Joy Luck Club”, “White Oleander” & “Zodiac”); Jacqueline West (“League of Extraordinary Gentlemen” & “Invasion”); Victor Zolvo (“Mr & Mrs Smith” & Zodiac”) and Gregg Cannom (Pirates………”Curse of The Black Pearl”, & “Watchmen”) respectively…………….

Also the groundbreaking Visual FX played a huge role in CCBB and hats off to Eric Barba and his amazing team at Digital Domain. Brilliant! It was a feast of VFX and an enormous challenge on many levels: The Post-Supervising fell squarely on the broad shoulders of Peter Mavromates (“Fight Club”, “Kill Bill 1 & 2 and “Zodiac”) The scope and complexity of the post was enormous and to actually bring it all together was an amazing achievement. There are several other people I could mention (not least of whom is Producer Cean Chaffin who I could go on about for days!) but as with any great film CCBB was a true and wonderful collaboration.

Claudio is currently beginning work on “Tron” a remake of the 1982 sci-fi cult classic starringJeff Bridges. “Tron” is being directed by Joe Kazinsky. “and is shooting digitally and in 3D (Cameras - Sony F23, Record/Workflow - Codex)

Industry Profile -- Director/DP Jason Lehel

2009-02-03T15:08:00.000-08:00

Jason started making films in 1977, commencing the journey in the cutting rooms, working on such films as Omen 3. He was an assistant editor for two years before moving to the camera department, where he had the privilege to work on two films with the great Ossie Morris. Jason continued to work his way up through the grades on some twenty features, including such films as CRY FREEDOM and GORILLAS IN THE MIST. On the latter he got his first break as director of photography shooting additional material for Michael Apted.

In 1988 Jason shot his first short film as director of photography, which was nominated for an Oscar, his second winning a best short BAFTA. His versatility lead him to become busy in features, commercials and music videos, shooting consistently for the UK’s top directors and companies such as RSA & Spots and for bands like U2, Guns N’ Roses and even Frank Sinatra. Jason was making a name for himself as one of the leading young DP's in the UK and was quickly taken on by ICM.

Jason’s all round abilities not only made him a sort after DP, it also lead one of the UK’s ”A” list production companies, to offer Jason a chance to direct. In 1993 he joined Rose Hackney and went on to direct some 50 commercials in two years and winning several awards, including his powerful anti domestic violence spot, starring Dougray Scott.

By 1996 Jason had set up his own production company, Open Eye Productions and had won awards on every short film he directed, produced and on commercials he directed & produced for other directors.

Jason also won a Grierson best documentary award, for the controversial documentary, “2 Hours from London” which he produced for the BBC.

In 2007 Jason moved to Los Angeles. He works as DP, Director and Producer, shooting mainly in the US and Europe. Jason also set up W.A.I.F. a successful facility production company in Los Angeles, producing & servicing commercials from all over the world. The first commercial he produced and shot through W.A.I.F. has picked up no less than four international advertising awards.

There are two consistent aspects to Jason’s career thus far. firstly, his versatility as an accomplished Producer, Director and DP, and secondly, his willingness to take risks in his choice of projects and style and his desire to continually push the boundaries of the art.

Jason just finished directing & shooting his first feature film, “Gaia”, shot entirely on the Native Indian reservations south east of Phoenix, AZ.

Jason is represented by Innovative, LA.

Industry Profile -- Cinematographer Claudio Miranda

2009-02-03T14:58:00.000-08:00

Cinematographer and inventive lighting guru Claudio Miranda; the man behind the gorgeous images in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

Miranda has known Fincher since 1985. From his first jobs as a stage manager, electrician and best boy, he moved on to gaff Fincher’s The Game, followed by watershed feature Fight Club in 1999. At the production wrap party for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Miranda earned the (tongue-in-cheek) “Longevity Award” for his enduring relationship with the director. He also gaffed Tony Scott’s Crimson Tide, The Fan and Enemy of the State.

Faultless practicality and technical know-how have propelled Miranda towards his current status as an in-demand cinematographer. The 2005 Sundance Film Festival hit A Thousand Roads, directed by Chris Eyre, provided Miranda’s first feature cinematography credit and cemented his reputation as a DP to watch.

After honing his lighting chops on tent-pole action flicks, Miranda began picking up Best Cinematography awards left, right and centre for his commercial and music video work. Images from the commercials he has shot stay in the mind long after they have completed their run; he has won AICP and Clio awards for the Pocari Tennis spot in 2002, a Clio for Xelebri in 2004, an AICP for Heineken in 2005, as well as an MVPA for a Beyonce (feat. Sean Paul) clip in 2004.
The son of a Chilean architect and an interior designer, Miranda began at a Los Angeles Community College but quickly realized this variety of education wasn’t for him. He didn’t want to end up in a desk job; besides, his work as a stage manager was far more interesting. His big break came in 1994, when Dariusz Wolski hired him to work as chief lighting technician on Alex Proyas’ The Crow.

Reaping the benefit of constant support from colleagues, Miranda says he has been offered many valuable leg-ups along an accelerated career path. He didn’t pick up a camera as a teenager, nor did he dream of being Spielberg. He says he is amazed his career keeps moving so quickly given the number of other talented DPs out there.

Miranda has developed a look influenced more by the natural world than conventionally cinematic stylizations. He is influenced by the imperfections appearing within a composition, often choosing to light less obvious focal points within the frame.
With his girlfriend Kelli and greatest accomplishment, daughter Sofia, Miranda lives in Los Angeles.

He is represented by Dattner Dispoto and Associates.

2009 DIGITAL PRICES SLASHED!!

2009-02-03T14:08:00.000-08:00

So the first news I have is The Camera House has (in the spirit of the current economy etc) had some dramatic price changes/cuts on almost all our Digital Inventory. To keep pace with today's budgets as well as making our current tapeless workflows fall more in line with the “RED” tide we have slashed prices; OVER 60% in some cases!! (of course please don't forget we do RED too!)

60%?!?!?! (I hear you cry!) Are you crazy?!?!?! (I hear you scream!) Very possibly yes!

BUT……………………… we all know how the budgets have plummeted over the last two years and to help support our clients through this hard time and to drive new business through our own doors we feel this is the perfect thing and the perfect time……………… Call Mel, Caiti or me for a quote or just check out our website www.thecamerahouse.com to see the remarkable new prices for the same equipment and services we have been successfully offering for the past 4 years; the very same workflow so brilliantly employed for instance on both “Zodiac” and “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”.

We are also carrying these new price cuts through to our post-production partnership so on the entire budget level you will see some huge incentives to use this amazing workflow and equipment. Check it out for yourselves now!

Or I will come to your house……………………. Or worse……………… send Chad!

Over the next few months we will also be introducing some amazing new equipment such as the new Sony F35, Arri D21(if I win the lottery—Hey it could happen!!), Sony EX3, Codex Portable (already available!), Codex On-Board…………….. The really fabulous new S.two on-board recorder (more info in March/April Newsletter)…………… we should also be offering the brilliant new Aerohead-Mini remote head.

So here’s to 2009, Benjamin Button, & NO STRIKES!!

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - Movie Review

2008-12-12T13:22:00.000-08:00

I want to remember 2008 not as the year that Alan “Turkey” Rosenburg* destroyed what is left of Hollywood but as the year of “Benjamin Button.”

THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON (David Finchers new and stunning film - being released on Christmas Day) is such an incredible movie on so many levels it deserves pages of praise and review, but unfortunately I suck as a writer will never do justice to this movie or the man behind it. At the very least maybe I can influence you to go see it for yourself. Even on Christmas Day when it releases! Believe me it is more than worth it.

“I was born under unusual circumstances” is how we are introduced to Benjamin Button himself; as portrayed by Brad Pitt in a remarkably thoughtful and understated performance; more than deserving of an Oscar in my opinion. In fact Oscar should just park his ass at Benjamin Button’s doorstep right now as far as I am concerned. Whatever you think of past Fincher films (including the brilliant and totally unappreciated Zodiac) you would in my totally unbiased opinion have to be lacking in any emotion or soul to not love this film!

Based in principal on the wonderful short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald of the same name it chronicles the life of Benjamin Button as he is born as a baby with the physical traits of an old and decrepit man and travels through his life as he ages in reverse. Featuring marvelous performances by the whole cast; led by Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett CCBB is a wonderful journey that I didn’t want to end. Drama, Romance, Laughter (exquisite comic timing by the way which is never talked about and one of Finchers many great strengths) and more than a few Tears. I cried so many times in this movie my makeup was completely ruined!

Look, there are so many critiques of this movie by people far better at writing than I will ever be (and by some critics more intent on appearing smarter than actually are) so I won’t bore you with my trying to be clever and writing prose that mean more to the writer than the reader. Just take my word for it.

This is a wonderful, wonderful movie deserving of every and any accolade. There will be those, of course, who refuse to recognize Fincher in his deserved manor. They will choose to make up for their prop 8 frustrations with “Milk” (as good as it may be) or their continuous need to kiss Clint Eastwood’s tuchus regardless of the actual film. If Fincher ends up as the next Scorcese, waiting decades for recognition too long deserving, I guess that could be cool…..but eff that!! This is a truly remarkable film. Ask my wife! She is ALWAYS right and Benjamin Button surpassed both Steel Magnolias and Titanic as her favorite-ever movie. Now how can you argue with that??? (my wife I mean not necessarily those movies.)

Please do yourselves a favor and go see this film. You wont regret it and even those hardened men who rather go see Valkerie on Christmas Day (I can tell you what happens in case you don't already know) are just afraid to see that Brad Pitt at 70 looks 10 times better than you did at 21! (alright so that was how I felt and one of the reasons I cried so much at times. He is Robert Redford and Steve McQueen rolled into one. Damn him!).
And by the way, Cate Blanchett should have received a Golden Globe nom. What is wrong with you people??? She won my heart, right after Brad Pitt won my body!!!

SAG Strike...Why?

2008-12-12T13:15:00.000-08:00

We are trying to do business under “Unusual Circumstances!” This past year has been weird to say the least Firstly the 100-day WGA strike was devastating to so many, but when it finally ended things looked good and we all breathed a sigh of relief. But we did this a little prematurely as we have since seen!

Now there is a very public fight and SAG are trying to gain authorization to strike. The chances are (unless sanity prevails) that by January we could all see this actually happen! UNFREAKINGBELIEVABLE!!! But don't forget we have been already been dealing with this since June!

I have written and re-written this part a bunch of times already as each time I seem to fall into some rant about how much I despise the SAG leadership and I slag them off as I think they deserve. There are tens of thousands of people outside of the SAG membership being negatively effected (not to mention the SAG members themselves). Companies going out of business, homes being lost, careers being ruined, families being destroyed……… all because SAG feel that they deserve more than everyone else. The rest of the industry, the country, hell the whole world economy is at an incredible low and we are all learning to deal with less and fighting just to survive! But SAG should get more right? Wait a minute! I am doing it again! Hating!! You can see some of SAG’s side of the story on the following pages as well as the Producers side. You can make your own minds up. I am obviously neutral!!!

Why should we vote to authorize a strike? We need to show management that we are willing to fight to preserve our ability to earn a living as union performers; otherwise, management will take that away from us. Nearly half of our earnings as union performers come from residuals, but management wants us to allow them to make programs for the Internet and other new media non-union and with no residuals. This means that as audiences shift from watching us on their televisions to watching us on their computers and cell phones our ability to earn a living will go away and future generations of actors may never be able to earn a living through their craft. This change will happen faster than you think. To add insult to injury, management also insists that we eliminate force majeure protections from our contract. These protections have existed since the first SAG contract in 1937 and protect you when production stops as the result of an act of God like a natural disaster or a strike by another union, such as the WGA strike earlier this year. This is an enormous rollback that will leave actors without one of the most basic protections of a union contract.

What is the effect of voting to authorize a strike? Voting does not mean that there will automatically be a strike. A strike authorization is a tool that gives us more leverage in negotiations and we intend to use it to try to get a fair deal. If we receive votes from at least 75% of the members who vote on this referendum, the National Board will have the ability to call a strike, but it must vote to do that, and that wont happen before we attempt further negotiations to reach a deal with management.

Why does management believe we should endorse non-union, residual-free work in New Media? Management claims this bad deal is necessary because they need to experiment with new media and they claim they will renegotiate these terms with us in the future. We have already agreed to most of managements new media terms, however, and have proposed, in the areas where we still disagree, extremely flexible terms for new media based on our successful low budget theatrical contracts and our nearly 800 made-for-new media contracts with independent producers. Our terms will allow management the latitude to experiment using union actors. And how can we believe that management will ever improve these new media terms when they still wont improve the home video residual formula after 22 years? Right now all the actors on a given cast share 1% of the revenue generated through DVD sales because of a formula we agreed to in 1986 when management needed to experiment with home video. In this negotiation, we have asked only that management at least make pension and health contributions on DVD residuals, rather than making us pay them ourselves out of our paltry 1%. They have refused even that! The basic cable residual formula was also negotiated early in the history of that medium to reflect the then experimental status of basic cable programming and pays only a small fraction of network television residuals. It is now over 20 years later, 27% of all television ad dollars are now spent on basic cable, and the basic cable formula still pays only a small fraction of network television residuals.

Management simply does not have a history of ever ending their experiments and paying us fairly. The reality is that management is opportunistic and they believe they can force these concessions on us because they believe we are weak and divided. We need your vote to prove them wrong. Don't all these terms just go away at the end of 3 years anyway because management has agreed to a sunset clause? All the sunset clause means is that if management wants to maintain in future negotiations the bad new media deal they want to force on us now, they must write those terms down on a piece of paper and give it to us as a proposal. Do you really believe that this will provide us with any protection in a future negotiation if management decides that they like making non-union, residual-free programs in new media? The fact is that once management establishes a business model that relies upon non-union, residual-free production, it will be even harder to change their minds. Just look at how hard they continue to fight to avoid improving the home video formula, well after DVDs have become their richest source of revenue.

Haven't the other Hollywood unions accepted this deal already? Why do we need a better deal? We are not looking for a better deal. We are looking for a deal that is different and that recognizes the unique needs of actors. No other union represents the actors who appear in motion pictures or the actors who account for over 95% of the earnings in primetime network television. While management likes to pretend, when it suits them, that pattern bargaining is somehow obligatory for unions in this industry, the fact is that we have a legal right to negotiate our own contract. And for good reason the pattern, in many cases, affects us differently: The impact of sanctioning non-union made-for-new media programs is different for us. Many performers must rely on the collective bargaining power of the union to obtain fair terms of employment.

Unlike the writer or director, a day performer or background actor may not have the leverage to negotiate fair terms for themselves. Performers, especially stunt performers, also have health and safety issues on the set that aren't shared by writers or directors and they rely on the union to look out for them. And unlike writers or directors, our union faces a significant threat from non-union performers who want to provide producers with an alternative workforce they can use to make their product without having to comply with union terms and conditions. Allowing our employers to make non-union new media productions will allow these non-union actors to gain credits and experience, which will make non-union production easier and more attractive and thereby reduce the opportunities for union actors like us to get work. Allowing residuals-free new media production also impacts performers differently. Unlike writers and directors, most performers don't earn enough in initial compensation to live on. Instead, we rely on residuals to get us through the lean times. As production inevitably shifts from traditional media to new media, the lack of residuals in new media will eventually choke off that vital source of income that enables us to stay in the profession even when we aren't working so that we can audition, hone our craft and remain available for new roles. In such a world, many of us will be reduced to amateurs working day jobs to support our acting habit.

There are already lots of differences between managements new media proposal to us and their deals with the DGA and WGA. For example, management has agreed to set minimum payments for writers of made-for-new media programs, but refuses to do so for actors. Why doesn't the pattern apply to this critical issue? There are other differences. The minimum residual for a TV show rerun on the Internet for six months is over $600 for a director or a writer, but only $22.77 for an actor who works as a day player. On the other hand, use of clips of an actors work on the Internet requires consent by the actor, but a directors or writers work can be used as a clip on the Internet without their consent. Is that better, worse or just different? Management talks about their new media template like it is exactly the same for each union and cant be changed. In fact, management has proposed varying new media provisions to different unions when it suited them, but they have refused when we have proposed reasonable and modest changes, like making sure all made-for-new media productions are done union and pay residuals.

Are we sure that we have exhausted every opportunity to make a deal before asking for this authorization? We shouldn't have to exhaust every opportunity to make a deal before asking for a strike authorization. Most successful unions ask for a strike authorization early on, sometimes before they even start bargaining, because management is more likely to take the union seriously if they know the members are willing to fight. We didn't do that this time because the WGA strike had just ended, but our union needs to get back to the routine practice of approving a strike authorization well before we get to the expiration of the current contract. Actors elected by the membership to the SAG National Board decide by a vote if and when a strike should be called. As it happens, we have absolutely exhausted every possible opportunity to make a deal before asking for this authorization. We spent 42 days between April and July in hard bargaining with the AMPTP. In the months that followed, we bargained informally, met with CEOs and educated our membership about the issues. Finally, we asked for a federal mediator to intervene. After nearly a month, management agreed to return to the bargaining table for a marathon mediation session that ran late into the night on two consecutive days until the mediator finally declared that it was pointless to continue.

After all of that, managements positions on the fundamental issues at stake in this negotiation are the same as they were on the first day of bargaining. On the other hand, we have pared down our demands, made painful concessions and offered compromise after compromise, all to no avail. It is crystal clear that without the support of our membership for this authorization, we will have no choice to but swallow whatever management sees fit to give us lock, stock and barrel.

Is a strike really feasible considering how bad the economy is right now? The bad economy hurts management just as much as it hurts us. As uncertain and anxious as our employers are about the future of their businesses and of their own jobs, the prospect of a SAG membership willing to go to the mat and fight them is the last thing they want. Yes, the bad economy means that it will require more of a sacrifice from some of our members if in fact a strike becomes necessary, but remember that this union was founded and obtained its first contract during the depths of the Great Depression. Hard times do not mean that we stop demanding fair treatment from management.

What can I do to help? Vote yes on the strike authorization referendum. Its our best hope of obtaining a fair contract. Talk to your fellow SAG members wherever you can find them and convince them to vote yes too. Read your email and visit the SAG website to stay informed and learn about town hall meetings and other events in your area and make sure you attend. Better yet, bring another member with you. If you cant attend, or prefer to express yourself in writing, email your thoughts and suggestions to contracts2008@sag.org. We read every email that comes in. And most importantly, stay strong. Do not let management intimidate you into accepting less than you deserve. If we stay united, we will prevail.

December 1, 2008
An Open Letter To The Entertainment Industry
Our industry has worked hard this year to make six major labor agreements. These six agreements were intensely fought and aggressively negotiated by all sides, with major compromises made by everyone involved. Now, with all the other Guilds and Unions having accomplished so much, SAG is demanding that the entire industry literally throw out all of its hard work because it believes it deserves more than the 230,000 other working people in the industry.

To comply with SAG's demands would mean SAG merits more than everyone else. Saying yes would jeopardize the trust we have so carefully established with the rest of the industry -- at a time when this industry needs stability to ensure that together, we effectively evolve with shifting consumer demands. To say yes to SAG would be to repudiate the hard work and compromises made by every other labor organization in the industry over the past ten months.

Because of SAG's failed negotiating strategy, our industry now faces the prospect of another destructive and unnecessary strike. Incredibly, this SAG strike would occur at a time when the national economy is reeling from a historic financial crisis. Just as stunningly, a SAG strike would be self-defeating from the start - with actors losing more within the first several days of the strike than they could ever hope to gain.

We have made SAG members a fair offer, the same deal we have successfully offered to all the other Guilds and Unions, and we kept that offer on the table for now despite the rapid worldwide economic decline. We hope that every concerned member of our industry will study carefully the terms of our offer -- and then think long and hard about whether, at a time when millions of Americans are facing extreme financial hardship, there is anything about our offer that justifies a debilitating strike.

We are standing firm behind our offer because it represents a pattern of hard fought agreements of the past year, and its construct is vital to the future of our industry. No single Guild or Union should be allowed to undermine the hard-won consensus over how our industry can experiment and then prosper in the speedily changing new media marketplace.

Signed,
Peter Chernin, Chairman and CEO, the Fox Group
Brad Grey, Chairman & CEO, Paramount Pictures Corp.
Robert A. Iger, President & CEO, The Walt Disney Company
Michael Lynton, Chairman & CEO, Sony Pictures Entertainment
Barry M. Meyer, Chairman & CEO, Warner Bros.
Leslie Moonves, President & CEO, CBS Corp.
Harry Sloan, Chairman & CEO, MGM
Jeff Zucker, President & CEO, NBC Universal

Jokes December 2008

2008-12-11T13:37:00.000-08:00

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible or incomplete addresses. One day, a letter arrived, written in very shaky handwriting, addressed to God...with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:

Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Thursday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my dearest old friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?
Sincerely,
Edna

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other Post Office workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few pounds. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read:

Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was £4 missing. I think it was those bastards at the Post Office.
Edna

First-year students at Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor began the lecture by telling them: 'In medicine, it is necessary to possess two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body.'

To illustrate, he pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the anus of the corpse, withdrew it, and stuck it in his mouth.

'Go ahead and do the same thing,' he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it. When everyone finished, the professor looked at them and said, 'The second most important quality is observation.

I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention.'

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: 'I have a question to ask, but I don't want to offend you.'

She answers, ' My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'

'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'

She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.'

The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'

'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

'My dear child,' said the nun, 'Why are you crying?'

'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess; I'm married and I'm also Jewish.'

The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.'

Einstein was born March 14, 1879. He would be 128 if he were alive today.
Few people remember that the Nobel Prize winner married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage dissolved in 1919. At that time, he stated that he was attracted to Elsa because she was so well endowed.

He postulated that if you are attracted to women with large breasts, the attraction is even stronger if there is a DNA connection. This came to be known as.......

Einstein's Theory of “Relative Titty”

A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub, and gestured alluringly to the bartender who immediately went right up to her.

"What can I get you, Ma'am?"
She leaned forward across the bar, seductively signalling that he should bring his face even closer to hers. As he did, she gently began to caress his full beard. 'Oh yeah', he thought to himself.

"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands now.
"Actually, no," he replied, feeling a stir below.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair now.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender, heavily. "Is there anything...is there anything at all that I can do for you?"
"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say, his trousers now incredibly tight.
"Tell him," she whispered…..."there's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."

The 10amps have arrived

2008-04-07T19:58:00.001-07:00

CERTIFIED!! that's right, our 30volt 10amp Lithium Batteries have a Certification and can travel on any commercial or cargo flights!!! for more information please visit www.thehouseofpower.us or call Stu @ 818.997.3802.

Happy Holidays!

2007-12-19T10:45:00.001-08:00

Safe Haven for Red One owners

2007-12-19T10:33:00.001-08:00

The Camera House in North Hollywood has been pioneering data based digital workflows and Digital Cinema techniques for more than 3 years now. We are now opening our doors to Red One owners as a safe haven rental house. We are here to support you, and your camera.

Chad Martin
Technical Manager
also check out my post on reduser.com (link below)
http://www.reduser.net/forum/showthread.php?t=6362&highlight=safe+haven

Welcome to our Blog!

2007-11-21T10:57:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone!

We have started this blog finally to sort of replace The Camera House newsletter that we used to do! It was something i thoroughly enjoyed doing but just ended up taking so long each month that i neglected everything else! I have wanted to start it again for sometime;so this is the closest i could get and commit to without total monthly chaos. It will obviously be a work in progress but i hope to make it fun and informative at the same time.

We would welcome any interaction with you including stories, ideas, comments about the industry etc - Whatever floats your boat!

At this time let me wish you all Happy Holidays and lets all hold hands and jump up and down at exactly the same time and maybe we can end the strike!

Peace

Rufus